...-=Black Clouds and the Dog=-...

I've been feeling pretty down this weekend.

First of, it didn't help that I stayed when I should've left when this girl last Friday who I was hanging out was embarrassing the shit out of me.. I forgot to walk away!

Second of all, I've put two dress sizes and it made me feel like poo! And of course, none of my friends understands because in their eyes I'm still tiny because I'm petite but from a size to a size 1o.. that is pretty depressing really!

Third of all, I just feel so lonely. I actually miss having someone. Bichichi made a good point that I need to just open up and it will all flow.

I think what I really need to do is to start exercising - then it will all flow.

I'm going to sleep now cos all these things are bothering me and I think all I need to do is just sleep it off and hopefully all these feelings would disappear.

A xx

...-=Thank YOU=-...

Tonight will be a short entry as its quite late and really need to go sleep soon... BUT

Thank you:

* To Torrents for giving me a free version of Lion OS X hehe
* Ex boyfriends for showing and teaching me how to love
* Old School Mates for making me laugh whilst bringing me down to memory lane of way back when our problems were cramming for exams, doing homeworks and trying to get extra pocket money to spend for lunch!

And.. I love my MAC for giving me pleasure tonight.

Sorry mostly petty stuff, but it sure did made my day today!

A xx

...-= Songs of My Soul=-...

I have been singing a lot lately. I actually miss singing.. I know I have the voice for it and I used to sing anyway so I'm not sure why I've stopped. Judgments. Of myself and others - there, I've just answered my own question! hehe!

Anyway, I saw this really cool film last night called August Rush as per Bichichi's advice and man... I was blown away! Really cool film! It's one of those films that makes your heart happy and your soul richer! After watching the film, I had magickal dreams... like I was somewhere where my heart and soul really wanted me to be and when I woke up this morning, I still had that feeling. In fact, when I was work, I was still feeling the same way. So bizarre.. but lovely and beautifully bizarre!

3 Things I'm Grateful For:

* Being alive - as I can live the most joyous adventure
* Love - cos it makes me feel alive :)
* Hope - cos without it, there will be less love

1 thing I Loved Today:

Seeing Anita actually... it's good to see someone from outside work and be able to talk about other stuff.

Anyway, I wish that you all sing, feel & follow your heart's desire.

A xx

...-=Full Moon Ah-wooooo=-...

So it's the full moon tonight! :)

Normally on a full moon I feel so anxious, sad, confused, empty and all those other weird feelings of loneliness. But tonight, I went to a Full Moon Ceremony and feel so bliss-ed by it all! Such an awesome and magickal experience! I met some really great people who has filled the room with so much love!

3 Things I'm Grateful For:

* Maria Bichichi, for introducing me to great and awesome people in the Shamanic world.
* Violeta & Daniela for giving me a truly magickal and awesome experience tonight
* My spirit guides for always being there for me

1 Thing I Loved Today:

I loved having have spent the time to myself. It felt as if it was a gift to bring myself to catch a bus all the way to South Coogee (such a hike!) as I've just had the most amazing experience in my path to living a Spiritual life.

Blessings to one and all and dont forget to say hello to the Full Moon! :)

A xx

...-=FRYday=-...

I was giggling to myself today as I was at work sitting at my desk working whilst listening to the radio and this song came up and I started dancing and it made me happy. I also was singing a lot today which is quite good. :)

I've realised that I have taken a lot of Michael's qualities with me and it suits my personality! hehe! Expressions that reminds me of him that I often see and hear myself doing or saying.. It's funny! But I like it. :)

Anyway... today Friday at work wasn't that great. But I think Stacey knows what's going on and it's kinda hard when they've set expectations... it's heartbreaking when you dont reach that expectations.

I also want to smooch with someone from work... haha!

So.... here's the 3 Things I'm Grateful For:

* Dance like no one's watching!
* Sing like no one's watching too!
* Sense if Humour - because without it I'd be a mess. :)

1 Thing I love today:

It's a Friday!!! :)

It's the full moon tomorrow and I really want to go to Coogee for the full moon celebrations. I'm sure the universe will find me a way...

Oh, and here's a full moon mantra that I received from Chakra Cooperative. I thought it was too beautiful not to share!

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -

-Buddah

Enjoy your weekend everybody!!!

A xx

...-=Lightness, Peace & Serenity=-...

I found myself smiling to myself tonight. I think it's because I have achieved what I wanted from Michael since we broke up - peace from him. Last night really did help. Getting an answer from him helped me so much.. he will not understand. As I've told him last night, I'm not asking him for us to be friends again, but I am not closing my doors to him at the same time. Time heals and love heals. In due time we will both heal and be friends again.

I feel happy... light and happy. :)

3 Things I'm Grateful For:

* The smiling dog outside office 34 in our office building. He was so warm and just really friendly and mate me give him a pat and a cuddle... I love his silky soft fur too! :)
* Crockie (Roberto Tozzi), because no matter what other people say or think about him.. I know he's a great guy and he will always be one of my closest friends.
* Michael, because no matter how dramatic he can be sometimes and can be so awfully frustrating.. I always learn from him or of him.

1 Thing I Love:

The feeling of PEACE, LIGHTNESS & SERENITY I am feeling at the moment after that "talk" with Michael. I am now free to grow with no feeling of heaviness inside my heart.

Sharing the love and lightness to each and everyone of you!

A xx

...-=I Surrender=-...

Tonight was an extra-ordinary night.. And I have a lot of things to be really grateful for. Let me start now...

Things I'm Grateful For:

* Joining Sarah for drinks tonight.. as she has given me an opportunity to shine in what I do best.
* For seeing Garima tonight, she's given me her trust that I will make her special day extra special and smooth the way it should be.
* Chatting with Pen on Skype tonight.. she was my Skype Angel and have helped me with so many trying things tonight.
* My power of annoyance. As I got Michael to communicate with me and tell me what really is the matter.
* Patience, because without it I would have completely lost the plot.
* Forgiveness, because if not for it I would still have been lost.
* Beating the ego and making peace with it. Cos now I feel so much lighter have been able to let go.

And 1 Thing I Love:

MYSELF - because no one would love me the way I would want to be loved except myself. The rest would just follow as it is a 2 way mirror.

Tonight I learnt that you can fight fire with love.. then the fire turns to love because love is the most powerful force in the Universe.

A xx

...-=I am Grateful For=-...

So as mentioned yesterday, I will from now on write 3 things that I am grateful for and 1 think that I love. I find that this way, I help raise my positive energy and vibrations.

So, here's the three things I'm grateful for:

* the internet - it gives me the information that I need. :p
* Susan's Spiritual Devt. Class - it lifts me up and feeds my soul positivity and lightness
* Tuesday nights - hot chocolate with Sarah at Bill & Tony's :)

1 Thing I Love:

* British TV!!! It really is entertaining!

I also want to share with you a website which I visit every now and then whenever I'm feeling a bit lost:

http://skillsforawakening.com/

And a tip when feeling a bit down over something or someone.. or just feeling a bit angry or negative about something, someone or a situation: "SEND IT LOVE" if you can't send it from your heart.. ask the Universe to send it for you.. :)

Enjoy your night!

A xx

...-=Something Beautiful I Want To Share=-...

I got this email tonight and thought it was too beautiful not to share... Enjoy!

Argue for your limitations and they're yours.
-Richard Bach, Illusions

Growing up, we all receive comments on our self-worth and abilities. We also
have experiences that leave us with beliefs about ourselves and every area of
life- relationships, health, success, prosperity, and our own value as a person.
These comments and experiences, whether positive or negative, shape our
beliefs about what is possible for us in life. Do any of the following sound
familiar?

- You're a good girl (or boy.)
- You can't draw.
- You're good in sports. - You sing off key- just mouth the words.
- You'll never amount to anything.
- Relationships are difficult
- There's never enough money.
- You certainly have a gift with words.
- What makes you think you could be successful?

So now you're an adult, and you want to achieve your dreams. But all the
old limiting experiences still exist inside, telling you all the reasons why you
can't do what you want. You may also have other limitations, like being
too aware of other's opinions, not trusting yourself and Spirit for guidance,
or being more concerned with security in life than passion in living. Perhaps
you have discovered that "instant transformation" in a week-end doesn't
often happen. The process of understanding and working with those
apparent limitations takes time and patience. Imagine that you are weeding
the inner garden of yourself, lovingly and patiently releasing the old to plant
the new seeds. Step by step, you CAN recognize the beliefs that limit you
and change them.

How often have you said things to yourself or out loud such as:
- I'm stuck.
- I'll never get past this one.
- It's hard to change.

So- guess what- what you claim is what you get! When you say words like
this out loud or to yourself, you are continuing to claim your limitations. The
words say that you don't believe change is possible or that you're actually
not willing to change! Pay attention to your words, and start by changing
the way you talk to yourself. Tell yourself you are willing to change and grow.

Affirm that you are guided to any help you need in releasing the past. Go
to the mirror and tell yourself all the positive, encouraging messages you
wish you'd received in childhood. Talk to your Inner Child in a loving way.
Be committed to choosing thoughts that build you up and nurture you rather
than criticizing.

I call this "clearing the old menu items." Clear the past and create new items
for the Menu of Life! Use some of these affirmations to assist you:

-I have clear insights that assist me in releasing the past.
-I am willing to believe that I deserve a wonderful life.
-I begin my new life in this moment.
-I am willing to open my arms and claim the wonderful, fulfilling life I deserve.
-I choose to believe it is easy to clear the menu items I no longer want.
-Any resource I need for my emotional and spiritual healing
comes to me quickly and easily.

Be patient with yourself as you focus on the changes you want to make.
Resist the temptation to "should" on yourself and create more stress! Take
time to journal and meditate and visualize the changes you want. Give
yourself lots of support and praise for the changes you do make, however
small.

What I know is that changing your life takes focus and commitment.
You are creating new mental patterns, so the more aware you are of your
thoughts on a daily basis, the faster you can change them to what you DO
want and then create wonderful new experiences.

And if you want to see some amazing positive change in your life, we
encourage you to attend a workshop, study group, or teleclass with
one of our trained Heal Your Life® teachers. The groups they conduct
are truly life-changing! If there isn't an HYL teacher near you, we also
have HYL Coaches who can work with you over the phone.

Make this the year you really go for your dreams! Not only will you
find greater fulfillment, the whole Universe will thank you.

...-=The New Moon=-...

So a lot has happened with me since I've broken up with Michael. I miss him and everything but life's too short and it goes on and will have to go on with or without him. My Spiritual Class with Susan has helped me cope with the break up. It wasn't as painful as it was but I think I still have yet to cope with him not being a part of my life anymore. It's so hard that he does not want to communicate with me - I really don't like that.

But what I really need to focus on at the moment are the things that I need to be grateful for and appreciate the things that I love. As Susan has told us before, we have to write 3 things that we are grateful for and 3 things that we love. I don't know if I can give 3 things that I love each day... I will try. But I'm sure 1 will be okay too.

So here we go...

3 Things I'm Grateful For:

* My loving family - for they always put a smile on my face.
* My new nephew - Mark Andre.. he is just adorable and I love him so much!
* My 2 nieces - Faye & Chelsea.. they always make my heart flutter and make me feel so loved!!!

1 Thing I Love:

I love Susan, my spiritual teacher. She always knows how to guide me and makes me feel so alive.

Ok, so that's it for today. I will try and make this as my daily habit. Also, will try and see if I can get some wish spells for the new moon from Susan tomorrow for me to be able to share with you.

Enjoy the start of your week!

A xx