...-=Journey On...=-...

I have been so confused the past few days and weeks that some people have thught of me as weird except for my close friends who knows exactly what I'm going through at the moment. I am so happy that although I havent been spending time with most of you lately no one has complained much about my absence in their lives (probably behind my back you all do... but what I dont know wont hurt me!). I'm happy that in the past few weeks I have so far find some peace inside me (therefore I partied last Friday?!). It was nice to see my bestfriend Anita happy... really hoping that this one will last.... My bestfriend Vahe happy and content... that he enjoys his me-times though he's been getting loads of them... wish I have that inner-peace that you have at the moment. Happy to know that Chewie is just there- will always find the time... will always listen... will always care. Happy to hear from Rainer- my Austrian Spiritual Adviser... I miss our chats... I miss the times when I'd feel so lost and you'll somehow awaken me... and I know the Dior is just a mask... a cover behind the insecurities... the insecurities that I dont realise I have and feel. Happy that despite everything I have good friends who will always be with me...

 

I love each and everyone of you...

Thank you for your understanding and patience with me...

 

~The Hermit Bannana~

...-=SPACE=-...

Thats just what I need right now...

 

That's all I'm asking for...

 

Just leave me alone right now...

 

I'm OK...

 

I just need SPACE.

...-=Hermit Phase=-...

I've decided to take time off from 

 

• Friends
• Partying
• Socializing
• Boys

 

When I got back from Europe, I was so focused into achieving the goals that I have set for myself.

Focus on getting my life back, move on to another field work-wise and practice the "Now".

 

I was focused for a while... but not now.

 

I find that men are the problem... and not Dior, Rainer... Dior only makes me look more attractive so okay, maybe can cause a little bit of problem.

But men... I love them.. I love being around them, but they cause me too much worries. Worries that arent even worth worrying about.

Men... although the enemy... I still love them. But I love myself more, so I have to let go of them for now.

 

It's quite hard though, cos the more you push them away... the more they come to you.

Would you believe that a "friend" of mine actually told me that I'm his dream "special friend"?!!

 

I know what a "special friend" is... it's not a girlfriend.. not a friend... but you have "bed-nefits"!

Na-ah... cant be... Will not be! I dont want to be anybody's "special friend"...

If and when I'm ready, I'll be someone's bestfriend, lover, and girlfriend.

Not now though... I'm not ready for it.

 

So please... just let me be single for now.

Let me enjoy being myself and not worrying about men and the other issues that comes together with them.

 

My dear friends... I'm not dissing you all.

But I just want some 'alone time' for now so I can reflect and really know what I really want in my life.

What to do with my life....

 

Until I find out, then i will go out and party again.

But for now, just let me be...

 

I have the hermit syndrome at the moment....

...-=How Do You Solve a Problem Like Anna=-...

I had a big arguement with my Mum today about my moving out. She was asking me why I have to move out so soon (I was meant to move out late December). Obviously she's getting comfortable to having me around the house again. Bad! Definetly not good at all! The fact that they question every single thing that I buy (ie; make-up, shoes, clothes, more make-up), they also ring me when I'm still not at home by 9:30pm. Most of my friends would know that my parents live in far away woop-woop. The buses stops running at 7PM. Therefore if you miss the last trip, bad luck... catch a taxi home. I have to admit though, it's a pretty safe place... but I'm starting to lose my life. I am most times late for work, and havent been feeling the need to go out as it's just too much effort. Not unless I'm seeing Chewie or some of my close friends then I'l go...

 

Another thing... I got the job at Flight Centre... I turned it down though. The pay wasnt that good... plus I want this other job offer instead. I just cant make up my mind really....

 

Also... I dont want to be in a relationship... FULL STOP! My dear friends.... stop setting me up with other people... I'm just not interested.

 

So... there you go. My friends are saying that i have some major issues...

 

How do you solve a problem like Me!?

...-=Linking a Pervert to Another Pervert=-...

Not most of you would think that I'm a very naughty person.

Actually not everybody would think that except for a few men.

OK, just one!

 

I have been talking to my friend Jah about some very delicate topic that some of my friends dont really want to talk about.

Toys...

I have toys... and I know that many of you would say:

WTF!!!!

There's nothing wrong with having them... after all they're not with me...

For now anyway.

It's with a good friend of mine who knows how to look after them.

Actually went to see them last week and they all look great...

Except for Alfie... poor Alfie has gone missing.

He said, the plumbers must have thrown him away as he doesnt look like a great sink plug.

Well... Alfie is not a sink plug in the first place... but a good toy... a cute bum plug.

 

People... I know you are all in shock.

Dont fear... it's okay to have toys... I actually call them my boys.

They're a lot better than sleeping around with some random guys.

Like Chewie has said: "Better than being a tart!"

 

I agree to that.

 

It's not that I am a pervert.

I just am a sexual person... who doesnt want to sleep around.

 

Anyway, my friend has told me to review this blog and see what I think about it...

 

http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/

 

It's a blog of a Canadian guy who is a pervert (like me and Jah *winks*)

Dude... I really like your blog and I think that it's worth tagging.

Really want to put a link of it on my blog but want to ask you first.

I think it's hilarious and uhmm... informative.

 

Perverts... unite!

...-=The Blue Dog is back=-...

Yes... Its been a while since I last felt like this and I think it's because it's  the time of the month when I feel so down and well... just down and sad. I dont know what I want and I dont know what I need... but mostly it's B who can cure this illness. Well, sad to say B is now married and is away on his honeymoon. Oh well... let's just let the Blue Dog stay for awhile... sometimes its good to be emotional... crying clears out your eyes (although it gives my face a rash-I think I'm allergic to my own tears!) and expells the toxic out from your body-STRESS! I dont like life today.... Dont ask me why... I have no answer to it.

...-=Gone=-...

It's funny and somehow weird how some people just disappear in our lives without ever saying goodbye.

I wouldn't know why they have left... they didn't say why....

But do you think it ever bothers me?

No... well, not unless they really mean a lot to me.

But somehow I do wonder why...

Like when at night my thought just wanders...

"What happened to him...???"

I know that it's got nothing to do with me,

The fact that I'm too positive perhaps...

But he's got issues that he needs to resolve by himself.

It's good that he just disappeared in some way.

Saves me time from explaining why we couldn't be together

Cos I know he wouldn't understand either.

 

So long... And wherever you are... I wish you happiness the happiness tha you're longing for.

 

Goodbye Mikey.

....-=Carpe Diem=-...

Carpe Diem

Horace

 

Tu ne quaesieris - scire nefas - quem mihi, quem tibi
finem di dederint, Leuconoë, nec Babylonios
temptaris numeros. ut melius, quicquid erit, pati!
seu plures hiemes, seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,
quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare
Tyrhenum. Sapias, vina liques, et spatio brevi
spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida
aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

 

*English translation*

 

Ask not - we cannot know - what end the gods have set for you, for me; nor attempt the Babylonian reckonings Leuconoë. How much better to endure whatever comes, whether Jupiter grants us additional winters or whether this is our last, which now wears out the Tuscan Sea upon the barrier of the cliffs! Be wise, strain the wine; and since life is brief, prune back far-reaching hopes! Even while we speak, envious time has passed: pluck the day, putting as little trust as possible in tomorrow!

...-=The Interview With God=-...

I remember, almost 3 years ago, I was sent this email by a friend and at that time I was having issues in life...

I just thought I'd share it with you as it is very nice and it means a lot to me.

 

Hope you enjoy it!!!

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

 

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

"So you would like to interview me?" God asked.

"If you have the time" I said.

God smiled. "My time is eternity."
"What questions do you have in mind for me?"

"What surprises you most about humankind?"

God answered...
"That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again."

"That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health."

"That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future."

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived."

God's hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
"As a parent, what are some of life's lessons
you want your children to learn?"

"To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved."

"To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others."

"To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness."

"To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them."

"To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least."

"To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings."

"To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently."

"To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves."

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
"Just know that I am here... always."

-author unknown

...=-Happy New Year!!!=-...

I celebrated New Years Eve with Anita and some random people... really cool random people in this BIG house at Vaucluse. We had a good view of the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House and were surrounded by beautiful people. It was free-flowing booze and other stuff too that I refused to take. Besides, 2007 for me is a year of change right?! The 9pm fireworks were amazing. Anita and I were meant to go get her cardi from Neils car as she was feeling a bit cold (though it was a perfect night), but the fireworks started and she knows how much it means to me so we stayed to watch it and since I was pissy, I kept on spilling drinks on other people. He he he....

 

I also met some new people from Europe. Nick, who's Swedish. Chris, who's German. And Paul, who's English. I had a stalker for the whole night- Stuart aka Duffy-from Melbourne, who was escorting me for the whole night following me around like a sweet nice puppy. He was like so hyponitized by me that he does whatever I ask him to do. Like after the countdown to midnight, we danced to the beat of Michael Jackson and house and I threw a tennis ball in the pool and asked him to go get it for me and so he jumped in the pool... naked! He didnt want his clothes to get wet. I didnt like his friend Chris though... he was like full-on harrassing me the whole night asking me to kiss him and trying to touch me everywhere! I had to get out of the pool area just to avoid him. Therefore leaving Duffy behind and it was so funny hearing him yell out my mine... "Anna... come back... pls...!" LMAO!!!

 

Anyway... back to the countdown. We didnt hear the countdown. We just saw the midnight fireworks and the bridge "exploding". I felt sad at first.. gosh... 2006 was my crazy year. I partied non-stop, went to Europe and grew up. I was with someone special in the beginning of 2006, fell in love and got broken hearted. Felt the need to go away and so I did... it was a crazy year, a lot of things has happened... but never regret anything that I've done. It was fun... I had fun! I learned a lot about myself, grew up as a person. By late 2006, I sorta realized that I have to move on to better things. And I have. I see things in a different way now. I see things in a more positive way. I'm less moody, more patient and have more self-control. I am now in control of my life and I want to keep it that way. I also met my family in Europe.. Spain. They're such beautiful and lovely people. I'm so happy to have them in my life. Friends... my friends.... I love them to bits. They may get into my nerves sometimes but that doesnt bother me much anymore. Besides at the end of the day, I know that they will always be there for me. My new friends... They will not be considered as my friend if they're not special to me. You all know who you are. You may all be far away but you're all in my heart.

 

2007- A new beginning for the hot Bannana. I'm wishing for a healthier living, more happiness, love, more laughter and a new and brighter beginnings... not just for me... but for all of my friends out there. I cannot tell if this year will be a lot more fun than last year... but one can only wish for it.

 

To all my friends: Carpe Diem!!!