I think I still have issues that I havent resolved. I thought that I was over it... over him... Or maybe I am... just having those weird feelings of liking the person who I'm not meant to like anymore. I think I misjudged myself with thinking that when I see him and talk to him I'll know when I'm really over him. But you see, the problem is I thought I was really over him until he gave me that look when I told him that I told Richard that "we were just friends". Okay... I've told all of my friends that we're just friends now... But everytime I say that I feel a little bit of guilt inside me. Knowing that we still both like each other. It sucks. Specially now that there is a guy who I know genuinely cares about me. We're not together though... we're not a couple. I enjoy talking to him but I dont see myself being in a relationship just as yet. It's so hard specially when I get confused in times like this. I honestly thought that I was over Chewie... obviously not. Otherwise I would've been okay when he told me that he was going to see the Hungarian girl cos she wanted to see him. I didnt ask anymore questions.. why should I... I dont see any point as to why I should be asking questions. I was just surprised cos he has been calling me... has been flirting with me... Has asked me to come over his place. We weren't planning of doing something silly anyway, just to hang-out. We're trying to be friends. I guess it will not work. One of us will get hurt... I will get hurt. That's always the case. Chewie is a tough guy who doesnt feel much pain... he gets hurt but gets over it really quickly. As for Bannana-me... oh... have I told you it took me 3 months to get over him while I was away. And now that i'm back... Chewie seems to be back in my life again too. Are we always going to be a part of each others life? Seriously, I should do something about this. Either I deal with it now or I leave it.
It's so hard to make decisions of the heart. It's never easy. Specially when you really like the person so much. But I have to remember... I've been through this shit before and when I was away, I decided not to want to feel such great hurt ever again. So Anna... it's now make or break time again... Will you risk it again or just get over it and move on completely? I hate having to really think hard about this again... But to be honest, it is so damn hard!
This is one of those times when i feel really sad and wish that I was still in Spain.....
*sad sad Bannana*
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