...-=The New Moon=-...

So a lot has happened with me since I've broken up with Michael. I miss him and everything but life's too short and it goes on and will have to go on with or without him. My Spiritual Class with Susan has helped me cope with the break up. It wasn't as painful as it was but I think I still have yet to cope with him not being a part of my life anymore. It's so hard that he does not want to communicate with me - I really don't like that.

But what I really need to focus on at the moment are the things that I need to be grateful for and appreciate the things that I love. As Susan has told us before, we have to write 3 things that we are grateful for and 3 things that we love. I don't know if I can give 3 things that I love each day... I will try. But I'm sure 1 will be okay too.

So here we go...

3 Things I'm Grateful For:

* My loving family - for they always put a smile on my face.
* My new nephew - Mark Andre.. he is just adorable and I love him so much!
* My 2 nieces - Faye & Chelsea.. they always make my heart flutter and make me feel so loved!!!

1 Thing I Love:

I love Susan, my spiritual teacher. She always knows how to guide me and makes me feel so alive.

Ok, so that's it for today. I will try and make this as my daily habit. Also, will try and see if I can get some wish spells for the new moon from Susan tomorrow for me to be able to share with you.

Enjoy the start of your week!

A xx

...-=Strange Fuzzy Feeling=-...

So... a lot of things has happened since my last post.

Let's start of with... Me & Michael breaking up!

Well, I broke up with him a week before my birthday.. so the week he was meant to arrive in Sydney. I uninvited him to my birthday drinks and then it was a chaotic week whilst he was here. I have to admit that the chaotic week was all because of me and was of course self-inflicted. Too much drinking, not enough sleep and trying to cause him too much pain resulted in a not so very nice post-break up thing. And of course I felt so bad and so guilty and I have apologised and meant it but have not heard from him so.. I'm just letting him be. Time will come when he is ready and I hope and pray that I will still be open to it.

Second of all... I have made peace with the Chew-meister! He's good fun.. he makes me laugh.. We have admitted that we can be potentially disastrous to each other so we can only have small doses of each other. :) Well, as long as I have a dose of him every now and then.... ;)

And finally.... I have joined RSVP! Aha! LOL!!! So freakin overwhelming! There's a few nice guys out there but to be honest, I'm scared of meeting with them! I mean.. how do you start??? What do you say?? Where do you begin?? To be honest, I dont think I'm ready for it as yet.. but oh well.. they entertain me. :) hehe!!

So that's the update for now.. I will let you know of my adventures on the online dating scene... One thing's for sure.. my Spirit Guide's not happy with it at all but it will be worth the journey... or the comedy of it all! :)

...-=RESPECT=-...

The thing I've learnt from past relationships, most specially the one before this last one was learning to respect myself. Learning to love myself and learning to know when to stop giving.

Regardless of how much you love the person, and yes even if you love them more than they love you back, you know that you should stop when that person whom you love no longer has respect for you. Unfortunately it does happen. You love too much that sometimes you forget about yourself, and the next thing you know, you're this little puppy dog following the person around asking and begging for their attention. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON ANYMORE AND REFUSE TO BE IN THE SAME SITUATION EVER AGAIN.

It took me a long time to realise that I have low self-esteem when I was with Chew.. I have given too much that I didnt save any for myself. I promised myself that this will never happen again and it wont. No matter how painful it is to let go of the person, no matter how much I love him and yes, I will truly miss him SO MUCH... I AM IMPORTANT. I AM NUMBER ONE!

At the end of the day,
how can someone love when they dont love themselves?
How will people respect you when you cant even respect yourself?
It all starts from within.. and that goes the same with happiness..

I LOVE MYSELF AND RESPECT MYSELF. I AM YET TO BE HAPPY AGAIN, BUT AFTER I HEAL FROM THIS PAIN, THEN HAPPINESS WILL FLOW THRU ME ONCE AGAIN.

I AM LOVE AND I AM LIGHT.

...-=The Way I Feel Right Now=-...

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well, who am I to keep you down?
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it

But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost

(Oooooh)

Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say, women...they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You'll know

Now here I go again, I see, the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness...
Like a heartbeat drives you mad...
In the stillness of remembering
What you had
And what you lost...
What you had...
Ooh, what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know

Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You'll know
You will know
Oh, oh, oh you'll know

...-=Disneyland=-...

I would rather go to Disneyland with the person I love than get married! The thousands of $$ that we'll spend will be spent in our Disneyland hotel and Disneyland pass! Hehehe!!! Well, of course we'll get married too but it will be just a small civil ceremony and maybe lunch/dinner with close family and friends and then.... DISNEYLAND!!! Hehehehe!! I think this way we can let our inner child enjoy the union of two adults in love! Hahaha!!!

I cant wait for Disneyland! M-I-C-K-E-Y - M-O-U-S-E!!!

...-=Amen to Gregg=-...

‎"When we do reach a point in life when we really want to open up and share ourselves with another person, we reach inside for our love, only to find that it's gone and has left a reservoir of emptiness in its place. We discover that we've lost ourselves little by little to the very experiences that we trust enough to allow them into our lives."

"The good news here is that those parts of ourselves that seem to be absent are never really gone. It isn't as though they're obliterated forever...they're part of our truest essense, a part of our soul. And just as the soul can never be destroyed, the core of our true nature can never be lost. It's simply masked and hidden for safekeeping. To recognize how we do the masking is to embark upon a fast path of healing. Calling back to us the parts of ourselves that we've lost may be the greatest expression of our personal mastery."  -The Divine Matrix, page 177-178, Gregg Braden

It is self explanatory. I don't think I need to elaborate on this one.

...-=LOVE=-...

Is such a beautiful thing.

Most special when it's shared and given back.

Accepted and not judged.

Respected and trusted.

Love. YOU.