...-=Love And Life's Other Catastrophe's According to Anna=-...

I seldom question my happiness, cos I know my feelings doesn't lie to me. I mean, I can hide my emotiones towards others but never with myself. The past couple of weeks, I have been happy, no - happier! I have forgotten about my worries. I have forgotten to worry about the past, the hurts, and the future. I was happier. I've met a few people... a few men. They were all nice. Some of them I know clearly their intentions and sorry, it will not happen. I like one of them in particular though, I sometimes feel as if he can read my mind and it freaks me out! I dont have to say how I feel, he'd tell me instead. I suppose my body language gives it away though. He is sweet, charming, funny and really sexy. And he knows - I told him. Anyway, although I enjoy his company so much, nothing will come out of it.. he is going away soon.. so yes, timing! It's always great! But then again, I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet anyway... I am still enjoying my single life.. which is not so single anyway. Moving on, next guy is the Leeds guy. He is keen and is really sweet.. but again, I just dont have the time. I cant give him the time as I'm really busy. I think that's why I like the guy who's going away cos he doesn't pressure me with anything. The 3rd guy, he so just wants to sleep with me! And I think he's made sure that I know of it. He sometimes text stalks me to see him... ohh.. this crazy thing I do... sometimes "pash and dashes" arent good at all... they come back for more! Haha! Oh dear!

But yeah, I'm not here to write about boys.. I am writing because I am questioning myself tonight. I feel melancholic and sort of want to go back to where I used to be before. Where uncertainties used to live within me and I know it sucks! I think I'm not quite used to be being happy!" Then I'd remember the story of Mr Worry... not sure who told me that story... I think it was one of the new guys that I met a couple of weeks ago. Damn Mr Worry! I should just be happy that I'm happy! But you see... here's where the problem comes along.

BOYS!

I have been spending a lot of time with the first guy.. let's call him "Yellow" (cos that's my favourite colour) and I swear, he sweeps me off my feet. We're not dating, we're just hanging -out. He is leaving in a couple of months anyway. But he's the sweetest thing ever. And I just cant get enough of him. And lately, I cant stop thinking about him, I just want to kiss him and do things with him... And I cant sleep. And I know I shouldn't bother much... for f--k's sake! But NO! Anna has already decided that she can do this. And is stronger. Well, I guess after what happened between me and Mark.. I guess I can take everything already! Geez... no matter how messy that relationship was.. I have no regrets at all. He has made me into a stronger person. Made me who I am today. He will always be the love of my life.. but he just needs to get over himself cos he thinks that I will never move on and get over him. As I've told him before, I cannot wait for him forever.

Anyway, I've learnt something good from Yellow this week though.. and that is to stop asking questions cos questions leads to uncertainty. Which is probably why I am here... feeling silly and a bit stupid cos I am once again asking myself.. "Do I have a problem? Cos it's been a while... and I haven't been worry-free for a while now..." Damn stupid girl!

So there.... I have just confirmed something to myself tonight.. that I am my own problem!

Anna... learn how to stop asking questions like a 5 yr/o does!