...-=Both Sides=-...

I have started meditating at night before I go to bed this week. It's not easy, really. My mind speaks to me - of good, bad and sometimes ugly thoughts. Last night, I was thinking of how people can lie in your face. How some people can be so false. How some people can be just users. It was hard to shake it off. It somehow helps that I listen to a meditation song.. I'm still looking for one which has got some sanskrit being sung.. but the one I'm currently listening too isn't too bad. It is of Tibetan healing bowls and chimes and even after meditating I listen to it till I fall asleep. I now light candles too, I find that it calms my soul down. I am ready to live a life of Zen again. I just need to go back to exercising. Even just going for a walk at least when I'm feeling a bit tired. I have also decided to stay in-love with myself for once... be single and try to stay single. I'm looking forward to peaceful life this year... where I wont be crying... where I wont be getting upset... and where I would just be happy and content. It wont be easy but it would be a really good thing if by the end of this year, 2009... I would be smiling - all happy for a reason knowing that 2010 will even be a better year.

~*~Both Sides~*~

Rows and flows of angel's hair

And icecream castles in the air

And feathered canyons everywhere

I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun

They rain and they snow on everyone

So many things I would have done

But clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, but still somehow

It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all.

Moon and Junes and Ferris wheels

That dizzy dancing way you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I've looked at love that way.

But now it's just another show

You leave them laughing when you go

And if you care, don't let them know

Don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now

From give and take, but still somehow

It's love's illusions I recall

I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud

To say "I love you" right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange

They shake their heads, they say I've changed

Well something's lost, but something's gained

In living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose, but still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all.