I don't know if I had a meltdown tonight... I think I did. Though after trying to meditate, which I successfully did - I felt okay. I actually felt calm and fine. I tried to think of what happened, why I got so angry, why I got so upset... and once again, it was the "Thinker".... I am not free of the "Thinker" just as yet. I am still trying to free myself from it... I did somehow manage though... I thought I was going to lose the plot again... but this time, I stepped back and just looked. The angry "Thinker" was dying to say something stupid... but "I" was in control.
What good does it do when you're angry and upset? You open your mouth and say your angry thoughts, upset yourself, upset the other person = then there's too much negativity around afterwards. I dont like getting angry... I dont like the feeling of being upset. Who does?
I learnt today that I can control myself from being miserable. When I'm calm, I tend to be able to think better. I can have my old "Zen-self" back.... It's possible... and I am happy to know that I can have it back... I can be happy, Zen and be able to spread positivity around me once again.
But first, let me learn how to lose the "Thinker".... he is one tough job!
Ohm Shanti...
No comments:
Post a Comment