...-=London Time=-...

Just finished chatting with Richard, oh it's freakin 4:25am! Great, and I was meant to meet up with Anita today for lunch!

He said he was thinking about moving to Sydney but if he'll do that he wont be able to afford paying off his boat and his car in London. Plus not to forget his mortgage. He said that if I want to go back to London I can. I have got nothing to lose. Just $2100 for my plane fare.

Why is it that everytime he tells me to move to London I hesitate? I know I dont really love him, cos otherwise I wouldn't even have second thoughts about it. I know that I like him though... because I cant stop thinking about him. But it's probably because I have no one at the moment and I like the attention that he's giving me.

I just dont like it when he tells me what to do. Like when he doesnt want me to wear my thongs (flip-flops) when going to the market. Or I have to paint my nails at least once a week. I have to always wear make-up. I cant tie my hair in a plain pony-tail. All these because he wants me to look good not just for him but for his friends too. I must admit, he's got celebrity friends and of course he wants me to look good all the time. But what if I dont feel like wearing make-up? What if I dont feel like dressing up and just wearing my shorts and thongs? What if I dont feel like painting my nails because I just dont feel like it? It's too much effort. I mean I know he said that I'm beautiful, but why do I still have to put extra effort for his friends?

These are the things that I cant deal with right now. Although I know that I will have a very good life if I'll be with him.. I know I wont be happy... Cos my he cant by my love... cos it doesn't cost a thing.

I miss him though. But maybe I should just move on and stop wasting my time thinking about him and our supposed to be future together. I have learnt from that mistake already and I have been doing that mistake for the past 3 years. It's time to break out from the bad habit... it's still not too late... I'm still a young dog and can still learn new tricks.

London... Richard...
6:55pm- I am still on London Time...
But after a few weeks, the grayness and dullness of it all will fade away...
And I'll once again enjoy the sunny skies of beautiful Sydney.

Gray Bannana