I've always been very understanding and giving to the people who I love. I never expect anything in return - but just kindness. I sometimes feel disappointed that some people who are close to my heart can't just do that. I suppose that's what "free will" means. I love him... so much. I love him with all my heart. I love him to death. But yes, "free will". Still I choose to stay. That is my own "free will". It's a bit fucked up, but nothing is perfect in this crazy world of ours. I choose stay because I love him. I choose to be by his side. There will be many more disappointments to come and I guess I'll just have to face them like I do every single time it comes to me - accept and face it with dignity, gracefully. Some people think I'm crazy and that I deserve better, but I think I know what's better for me and that's him. Otherwise I will never be here... by his side. It is never easy... Life and love are both never easy. It will always be complicated, but that will teach me to be a better person - wiser and stronger. I will have to accept all the challenges that my stubborness will throw me cos it's my own choice - my own free will. Only God knows where this will lead me and I always pray that something good will come out of it. I am only following what my heart is telling me to do because despite all the dramas - he makes me happy. I am happy.
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