Thursday, January 28, 2010

...-=Crash=-...

And the cookie crumbled! Forgetting that I am my own happiness and sanity.
Last night.. but most specially tonight was the lowest point of my life.

I just broke down. I had a meltdown. I wanted to disappear.

I still want to disappear.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

...-=Is It Really That Complex??=-...


Man... even Bob Marley got it! Why can't you? I feel like printing the quote above from BM, laminate it in super hard plastic and attach it on a wooden frame so I can bang this on your head! C'mon, I am all of the above to you.. and you know it! Don't let me be hitting you with my plackard on your head! You know you love me....

Monday, January 25, 2010

...-=Strike Me Now=-...

I am battling the worst insomnia I've had in years! The past few nights has been an absolute dread with making sleep... creating sleep and just sleeping! Maximum sleep I've had this week so far is a total of 29 hours.. that is less than 5 hours of sleep in 7 days! Averaging of 3-4 hours sleep in a day! Why, I dont know! All I know is that my mind and my body is not coping too well. Not feeling re-energized and feeling really woozy in the mornings is not so great at all! I just want to sleep... and have a good nights rest... I dont have to dream... I just want to sleep!

Let me sleep... give me sleep... let my body and mind be at peace!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

...-=Colours=-...

I want to lay down on a twirling bed and watch the ceiling turn into a big kaleidoscope. And watch all the colours and shapes turn and change. I sometimes wish that I can watch life like that.. in a way that I can enjoy everything! Every single thing! I wish I can say that life is like the colours of which is in a kaleidoscope.. pretty, bright and beautiful. No black, gray or white. Just the beautiful colours of the rainbow.

Then life is beautiful.

Monday, January 18, 2010

...-=Stillness=-...

And tonight I feel so at peace with myself. Like a feather so light, that's how I feel. I dont want to question this feeling as it is what I wanted. Though I cant help but wonder how it happened.

I suppose in the end what matters is I have peace in my heart and in my mind.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

...-= When It Rains, It Pours=-...

Its raining tonight... complete with loud thunder and sharp lightnings! Its awesome... the feeling is like as if the rain is cleansing all the sorrow in my heart and in mind and I feel like forgiving those who have hurt me and the people close to my heart.... Bliss!

I am not ready to write about how my start of the year 2010 was. It is still to early, too fresh and still a bit too painful.

But I believe that in every struggle there will be some victory and I trust that things can only get better.

With light, love and more positive vibes!

Happy New Year everyone!!!